{"id":46,"date":"2020-01-02T07:37:36","date_gmt":"2020-01-02T14:37:36","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/painvalley.com\/?p=46"},"modified":"2020-03-04T20:53:53","modified_gmt":"2020-03-05T03:53:53","slug":"understanding-explaining-chronic-pain-part-2-the-flip-flop-theory","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/painvalley.com\/?p=46","title":{"rendered":"Understanding & Explaining Chronic Pain Part 2- The Flip Flop Theory"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"Just<\/a><\/p>\n

In keeping with the topic of theories about chronic pain, I would like to present “The Flip Flop Theory,” written by Cassandra Russom. \u00a0This theory is geared a little more toward how to HANDLE pain ourselves, as opposed to explain it to others, but the more we educate ourselves and the better we understand hot to handle our own pain, the better we are at getting others to understand how it feels to walk in our…flip flops.<\/p>\n

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THE FLIP FLOP THEORY<\/strong><\/dd>\n<\/dl>\n

By: Cassandra Russom at\u00a0http:\/\/fighterzblog.wordpress.com\/2013\/05\/16\/the-flip-flop-theory\/<\/a><\/p>\n

If you have a chronic illness or deal with chronic pain, chances are you\u2019ve heard of \u201cThe Spoon Theory<\/a>\u201c, written by Christine Miserandino. If you haven\u2019t, the basic gist of The Spoon Theory is that those with chronic illnesses (in her case, lupus) have a certain amount of \u201cspoons\u201d that they must keep constant track of while going through a normal day. Spoons represent energy, of a sort; your ability to perform tasks and get through the day. When you\u2019re out of spoons, you\u2019re out of luck. <\/span>A \u201cnormal\u201d person has a seemingly unlimited supply of spoons, and they can simply do whatever they want without having to weigh the consequences of energy levels or take pain into consideration. A \u201cSpoonie\u201d does not. They must weigh every decision, no matter how small, against the choices they must make later in the day and the circumstances they find themselves in that day (high pain levels? fever? nausea? rashes? foggy? dizzy?) to make sure they have enough resources to go around\u2026 hopefully. The Spoon Theory was born as a way to explain to someone without a chronic illness what it is like to deal with the ever-present symptoms and pain on a daily basis.<\/p>\n

\u201c<\/i>I explained that the difference in being sick and being healthy is having to make choices or to consciously think about things when the rest of the world doesn\u2019t have to. The healthy have the luxury of a life without choices, a gift most people take for granted.\u201d<\/i><\/p>\n

One of the ideas within The Spoon Theory that resonates with those in the chronic illness community is that of having something taken away from them. In the spoon example Christine employed with her friend, she took away the spoons as her friend moved through her hypothetical day to convey the idea of loss.<\/p>\n

\u201cMost people start the day with unlimited amount of possibilities, and energy to do whatever they desire, especially young people. For the most part, they do not need to worry about the effects of their actions. So for my explanation, I used spoons to convey this point. I wanted something for her to actually hold, for me to then take away, since most people who get sick feel a \u2018loss\u2019 of a life they once knew. If I was in control of taking away the spoons, then she would know what it feels like to have someone or something else, in this case Lupus, being in control.\u201d<\/i><\/p>\n

When you\u2019re coping with chronic illnesses, you get the idea of loss. It is not a foreign concept at all. We have all lost something to our diseases, whether it be friends, family, gainful employment, hobbies, passions, relationships, or independence. We know how to grieve, and we face the reality of our losses daily. This is one reason why The Spoon Theory resonates very deeply with me, and why I use it to give \u201cnormals\u201d a glimpse into what my life is like now. However, as important as it is to acknowledge the losses we\u2019ve suffered and to grieve them in a healthy way, is it not equally important to acknowledge, realize, and remember the beautiful and joyful things that come along with our new lives? I love how Christine wraps up The Spoon Theory with this gentle reminder to her friend:<\/p>\n

\u201c<\/i>I gave her a hug when we walked out of the diner. I had the one spoon in my hand and I said \u2018Don\u2019t worry. I see this as a blessing. I have been forced to think about everything I do. Do you know how many spoons people waste everyday? I don\u2019t have room for wasted time, or wasted \u2018spoons\u2019 and I chose to spend this time with you.\u2019\u201d<\/i><\/p>\n

One of the things that I love and would never have gotten to experience without these diseases of mine are the chronic illness support groups that I\u2019ve found online and on social networking sites. These communities are full of incredible people who never fail to support, encourage, and inform one another. We\u2019re all going through a tough time, but that doesn\u2019t stop anyone from sharing the love and insight that they carry, because every single one of us can empathize with the struggles of the others in the group. What\u2019s more, successes are met with genuine celebration and joy\u2013 there is no envy, bitterness, or strife. (And if there is, the mods are all over that!) They are refuges that I have found for healing, even while my body struggles with the concept of healing.<\/p>\n

In regards to healing, there\u2019s one very important lesson that I\u2019ve learned in the past year, and it is this: be kind to yourself. The idea was first introduced to me by a therapist I was seeing, and it was a completely foreign concept. She encouraged me to frequently do things for myself that made me happy, for the sole purpose of, well, making myself happy. It took some experimenting and some very intentional work, but I began actively being kind to myself. It encompassed more than just random activities that made me happy, but also included the frame of mind in which I thought about myself. I learned to be gentle with my expectations and less frequent in my criticisms. I was in therapy with this particular counselor at the beginning of my sudden and rapid slide into more severe illness, and though our sessions ended before I hit bottom I found that the lessons I learned in being kind applied to my new life as a Spoonie, not just as an abuse survivor. Recently, my massage therapist brought up the same concept at the end of one of our sessions, after I mentioned my most recent bout with depression. She \u201cprescribed\u201d doing one thing every day that makes me happy. As I reflected on this, I realized that I had fallen out of the habit of being intentionally kind to myself, and I needed to revive the practice. This, of course, got me to thinking about the practice and importance of being kind to ourselves, especially in a world that is often unkind and not understanding of those with invisible illnesses.<\/p>\n

In one of the private groups I frequent, a friend made this comment regarding The Spoon Theory and a fibromyalgia re-write entitled\u00a0The Straw Theory<\/a>:<\/p>\n

\u201cI appreciate what both of these theories are trying to tell us. I would love to see something written as a reward type of theory. I am just rambling on here, but both of these things take something away. Haven\u2019t we already had enough of that? The flower on this post made me think of giving ourselves some sort of gift for every goal we meet, such as getting out of bed! Any ideas?\u201d<\/p>\n

Another friend agreed wholeheartedly with the idea, and begged for flip-flops to be used as the reward. So, with that challenge in hand\u2026 here I am.<\/p>\n

Think about flip flops. What do they represent? For most people, flip flops conjure up images of summer, the beach, relaxation, or casual get-togethers with friends or family. Flip flops mean no pressure, no stress, and lowered expectations. To me, flip flops represent the essence of being kind to oneself. It is a break from the normal grind of reality, lowering the expectations and going with the flow. Let\u2019s be honest\u2013 living with a chronic illness is hard. It\u2019s hard emotionally, it\u2019s hard mentally, it can be very hard spiritually (whatever \u201cspiritual\u201d means to you), and it\u2019s obviously incredibly hard physically. I think it\u2019s time that, instead of being so hard on ourselves and holding ourselves to unrealistic, unhealthy expectations, we need to \u201cput on our flip flops\u201d and be kind to ourselves. I don\u2019t know about you, but I have these ideas in my head of \u201cwhat I should be able to do\u201d. When I don\u2019t or can\u2019t accomplish those things and meet those self-set expectations (or maybe you have someone in your life setting unhealthy, unrealistic expectations\u00a0for<\/i>\u00a0you), then the criticisms come. The disappointment. The blaming, the self-loathing, the anger, the frustration\u2026 the tears. The \u201cI wish my life were different why meeeeeeeeeeee?!\u201d<\/p>\n

When you find yourself spiraling downward in the trap of unrealistic expectations, stop. Just stop. Put on a pair of flip flops. Think of ways to be intentionally kind to yourself. Think of what you\u00a0have<\/i>\u00a0accomplished, and reward yourself for it! I saw another chronic illness blogger recording her daily accomplishments, and it inspired me to\u00a0chronicle my own accomplishments<\/a>\u00a0as a way to combat the \u201cI don\u2019t do anything\u201d disappointment that I pile upon myself on a regular basis. I began listing my accomplishments every day. \u201cDid homework. Went to store. Took a 10 minute walk. Made banana bread.\u201d Anything that required effort on my part, anything that I could consider an accomplishment, it went on the list. One day, \u201ctook a nap\u201d was on my list of accomplishments. Some days, \u201cshowered\u201d is on the list. Some days, \u201cshowered\u201d is pretty much the\u00a0only<\/i>thing on the list! But looking at the cold, hard proof of what I have actually done encourages me to realize that my perception of reality is not necessarily accurate all the time, and it encourages me to \u201cput on a pair of flip flops\u201d and be kind to myself. I deserve it. My life is tough. Your life is tough. When will you catch a break unless you give yourself one?<\/p>\n

So we have The Spoon Theory, which explains what life with a chronic illness is like. Now we have The Flip Flop Theory, which is a reminder to calm down, step back, and be kind to yourself. On purpose. On a regular basis. Because our lives are hard enough, and we deserve it.<\/p>\n

Photo courtesy of\u00a0\u00a0C\u00edntia Regina<\/a>\u00a0via\u00a0Compfight<\/a><\/small><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

In keeping with the topic of theories about chronic pain, I would like to present “The Flip Flop Theory,” written by Cassandra Russom. \u00a0This theory is geared a little more toward how to HANDLE pain ourselves, as opposed to explain it to others, but the more we educate ourselves and the better we understand hot […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[4],"class_list":["post-46","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-pain-care","tag-dbtag"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/painvalley.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/46","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/painvalley.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/painvalley.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/painvalley.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/painvalley.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=46"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/painvalley.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/46\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":136,"href":"https:\/\/painvalley.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/46\/revisions\/136"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/painvalley.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=46"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/painvalley.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=46"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/painvalley.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=46"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}