{"id":54,"date":"2019-07-05T07:37:46","date_gmt":"2019-07-05T14:37:46","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/painvalley.com\/?p=54"},"modified":"2020-03-04T20:05:03","modified_gmt":"2020-03-05T03:05:03","slug":"feeling-safe-and-supported-additions-to-what-not-to-say","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/painvalley.com\/?p=54","title":{"rendered":"Feeling Safe and Supported\/Additions to What NOT to Say"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"Individual<\/a><\/p>\n

I wanted to do a post in response to so many of the wonderful comments that were posted in the last post \u201cWhat NOT to Say to Someone in Chronic Pain.\u201d\u00a0 \u00a0I was unable to respond to each comment individually but I was both sad and happy at the overwhelming response to this article.<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

It made me sad to read so many stories similar to mine regarding how difficult it is to live with chronic pain.\u00a0 Some of the stories honestly brought tears to my eyes, but at the same time I was so thrilled to hear that the writing resonated with you and that the comments, for the most part, were very supportive.\u00a0 It made me happy that we are coming together as a community to support and help each other.<\/p>\n

When you live with a condition that isolates you, it is so important to have a safe place to express yourself.\u00a0 I have said it before and will say it many times over: Chronic pain sucks!\u00a0 A lot of what we are going through sucks, but it takes courage to say that.\u00a0 As people in chronic pain we live a lot of our lives behind a mask, a mask of strength, a smile to hide the pain, but in reality, we want to shout at the top of our lungs- this is not fair!\u00a0 I saw many comments that showed how strong we are as a group and I wanted to say that you, we, are all very courageous for being honest and for fighting for normalcy.<\/p>\n

It is true, most people do not mean to be hurtful and really just don\u2019t know what to say, but it doesn\u2019t take away from our frustrations at some of the comments we hear all too often.\u00a0 Thank you for your additions.\u00a0 I saw many comments that resonated with me and others including:<\/p>\n

1-\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cDon\u2019t stop talking to me and being my friend just because you can\u2019t fix me, it will only make things worse.\u201d<\/p>\n

2-\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cBe careful not to get addicted to pain medicine\u201d\/being made to feel like a criminal because we need to take pain medication.<\/p>\n

3-\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cGod doesn\u2019t give you more than you can handle.\u201d<\/p>\n

4-\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cSee a psychiatrist \/therapist.\u201d\u00a0 Although both can be very helpful, to pass off pain as something that is simply the result of depression or anxiety is insensitive and incorrect.<\/p>\n

5-\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cI wish I could stay at home all the time like you.\u201d<\/p>\n

6-\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cYou can do x why can\u2019t you do y?\u201d\u00a0 Or \u201cYou were able to do that last week, why can\u2019t you do it now?\u201d<\/p>\n

7-\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cYou should feel reassured that they can\u2019t find something wrong.\u201d<\/p>\n

You are not alone.\u00a0 I think the multitude of comments proved that we are not alone in this and I am happy that the comments were helpful and supportive to each other.\u00a0 It is so important to feel like there are people who understand what we are going through because, although it doesn\u2019t alleviate the physical pain, it helps with the emotional pain. In regards to comments, please know that I approve almost every comment that is made, with the exceptions of comments that antagonize or offend others.\u00a0 This is a safe place, including for those who wish to express anger at their situation, but comments that attack others will not be posted.<\/p>\n

I am working on a list of helpful things to say because I do not like to focus solely on the negative aspects of life with chronic pain. \u00a0The post is scheduled for Tuesday morning.<\/p>\n

Thank you all for commenting and helping each other!\u00a0 Together we will raise awareness and help one another through the difficulty of living with chronic pain.<\/p>\n

Photo courtesy of\u00a0\u00a0Martin Gommel<\/a>\u00a0via\u00a0Compfight<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I wanted to do a post in response to so many of the wonderful comments that were posted in the last post \u201cWhat NOT to Say to Someone in Chronic Pain.\u201d\u00a0 \u00a0I was unable to respond to each comment individually but I was both sad and happy at the overwhelming response to this article. It […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[12],"tags":[4],"class_list":["post-54","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-juvenile-arthritis","tag-dbtag"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/painvalley.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/54","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/painvalley.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/painvalley.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/painvalley.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/painvalley.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=54"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/painvalley.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/54\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":107,"href":"https:\/\/painvalley.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/54\/revisions\/107"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/painvalley.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=54"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/painvalley.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=54"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/painvalley.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=54"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}